Challenges are meant to be conquered.

A drawing of Elmiryn at the river guardian's cave, when she's facing down the demi-god (I was going to add a looming shadow to indicate that).  This is a work in progress.

Still working on that expression of hers.  Elmiryn's face is angular, so I have trouble getting that across without making her seem ghastly or outright manly.  Her outfit really is ridiculous.  It's the kind of thing you realize when you take prose and transfer it to image.  It's like seeing Patrick Bateman drawn straight from the book.  He'd look like a goddamn clown (even his creator, Bret Easton Ellis, admits that).  Like Nyx, she's going to be donning some new threads soon.

Oh yeah!

Whoops.  Forgot to post this here.  Did a drawing of Nyx in her new tunic a few days ago.  Nothing too grand.

Hope you guys enjoy the new chapter.  As I said in Twitter, I made a lot of last minute changes, so if you see something odd (grammatical or otherwise) just tell me so.

Going to my happy place.

WHEN IN DOUBT, SCREAM AND SHOUT.

As unadmirable as it may sound, I just nearly broke my $1700 laptop in a sudden fit of rage that had me slamming my fist into the walls and screaming all seven deadly words irascibly. I had to take a cold shower to calm down. Now I just feel dejected.

You see, I just lost about an hour-and-a-half's worth of writing to an accidental keystroke that took me away from the Blogger post editor. The real issue wasn't even that. It was that the auto-save feature, for whatever reason, failed to do its job. So the two new scenes, the new dialogue, and the grammatical and editorial changes for Chapter 2.3 have all been lost.

Frustration, as many writers will say, is understandable in this situation. "What you really need to do," they'll tell you, "Is think about it in a positive light. You can rewrite whatever you did, and perhaps even better." I've had this happen to me before, so I know this. I've lost more work to silly screw-ups like this in the past.

It still sucks though.

Anyway, I apologize that this is all taking so long. I forgot how long it can take to put edits into effect, even with notes in hand. I guess part of the reason I'm so determined to get this done first is so that I can create a stronger base to build off of when I move to finish "Tributaries". Generally, writers wait till a work is finished before editing the whole thing, but I think it'll be better if I do things this way. My issue is that, despite having an outline and notes and all that nonsense, I still tend to write solely with the last chapter in mind.

Now this may not sound bad, but just imagine it like building a jenga tower. Each level has a piece missing, and you place pieces with consideration to those gaps. But as you build, you only take into account the level you are building off of. So as you go further up, the tower starts to tilt more and more to the side, until it falls over. I really was feeling like the paths of Nyx and Elmiryn's character were beginning to stray a little from how I introduced them and how I intended them to be. The same went for their adventure.

Bottom line: I felt like I was losing perspective, so I wanted to regain that before I went on toward the finale.

To me this is extremely important. So important that I'm willing to put the story on hiatus for a while. I'm tempted to do fillers and/or side stories in the meantime. Maybe post up excerpts from the book Tobias gave Nyx, or do abstract 'backstage' skits with the characters in the story. I'm not really sure. These won't be posted on a regular schedule and they likely won't be long pieces. If I can get the help, I might ask a guest writer to share their work on the site.

So will there be an update Friday? Probably not. Maybe a filler, but it'll be posted on THIS blog, under the appropriate category.

I'm feeling a bit better. Writing this post was a little cathartic. I'll stop now, as I have to go get ready for a lunch meeting, but know that I'll resume work (maybe not today) and the story will continue.

Till the next update, hope everyone takes care. I'll leave you all with a colored pencil drawing I did while I was in Panama. My only wish was that I didn't do it on lined paper.

Bingo, bangle, bungle, I'm so happy in the jungle, I refuse to go...

Okay, the title has nothing to do with this post, really. I just have that song from Fallout 3 stuck in my head.

Anyways, the story has been updated. These last two weeks were weird due to holidays, birthdays, inescapable events, illness, and general female wackiness. I keep reminding myself that I'm doing this for free, but I want everyone to know that I really do try to keep up with my schedule. I'm starting to think I'm going to have to make a routine of it, versus just writing whenever it strikes me.

I started a new digital drawing (separate from the last one I mentioned...I did mention it right?) It's a lot more cartoony than some of my other works, but I mean to clean up the lines on this and color it in full.



Some proportions are off. Like Elmiryn's right arm, but I'll fix that.

And tomorrow's my birthday. I turn 20. Yes, I'm an old, old hag.

...this is what you get

Did this today.  Started another digital drawing as well, with both Nyx and Elmiryn.  Hopefully I can manage something full scale like this.

Well today was...uncomfortable. It started at 2 AM when I woke up and found my tonsils were so swollen I could feel my breath whistling past them. They were so damn big, I kept swallowing reflexively, and every time it hurt worse than if a cheetah were to use them for speed bag practice. Somehow I got to sleep and woke up the same way later. Couldn't eat any more than yogurt for breakfast. Thankfully the swelling went down after I took some antibiotics and drank lots of water, but its evening and it is still difficult to talk.

It was REALLY odd then, feeling this way, and watching Apocalypse Now: Redux. I also managed to see Hardware (finally!) and I really enjoyed it. The last movie I saw on my list of surrealistic, dark films was Videodrome. I drove 40 minutes to get these (including Blackula, and Eddie Murphy's elusive 'Delirious' special). Hollywood Video and Blockbuster both bite sagging nuts because they don't carry a wide enough selection of movies. Netflix--though they offer more--still didn't seem to have either Apocalypse Now or Hardware for some reason. I enjoy these wacked out, stylistic forays into the human imagination. The bonus was that it's given me a few ideas for Chapter 4.2...which will be interesting.

Prepare for heavy linkage!

Apocalypse Now: Redux, originally premiered in 2001, was just an extended version of the original film, which came out in 1979. Though I've never seen the original, I really enjoyed this version a lot. There were a lot of powerful images, and I felt the acting was pretty spot on. The only part about it I'd have to say I didn't like was the plantation scene, which dragged on and on--I literally fast-forwarded through it. Aside from that, it was all just great. Marlin Brando does an amazing job as the disturbed Kurt, and seeing the final scene with him and Martin Sheen was pretty excellent. I'm not a history buff, but the Vietnam War has always fascinated me. Seeing this movie made me want to watch Full Metal Jacket again...then maybe Rescue Dawn. (and just because the last film would have Bale in it, I'd probably run to find American Psycho...which is such a deliciously demented movie)

After that I watched Hardware, which I mentioned on the blog a little while ago. It seemed to parade around its soundtrack a little bit here and there, but for the most part I understand that it was a film mired in alternative culture, and I think the music really lended to the post-apocalyptic setting. I somehow missed ever hearing about Iggy Pop doing a voice cameo, so it was a surprise to see his name come up in the credits. Given the film's budget, Richard Stanley and Steven Chivers did an EXCELLENT job with direction and cinematography. You can see the financial restraints whenever the killer robot, M.A.R.K. 13 is onscreen, but the sonuvabitch is actually pretty creepy in my opinion. The use of color and lighting sucked me in pretty well, so this easily joins my list of cult favorites (right next to Repo Man and The Warriors.)

The last movie I watched today was Videodrome, from good ol' David Cronenberg. It's your basic "body horror"--a kind of niche genre of story and film that deals with severe abnormalities with the body (mutation, parasitism, general gore.) I was glad to see it wasn't as contrived as Scanners, another one of Cronenberg's films, but the man does seem to have a penchant for stories with opposing forces...not so much one character versus another, but one faction versus another. Like in politics, religion...or comic books. Even in his recent film, Eastern Promises, that still seemed quite apparent...but I can't really hate the guy for it. It's pretty common in stories.

Anyways...the film I felt was pretty disturbing in places (which not many horror movies manage to achieve) but around the end it started to lose the creepy feel and gained more of a forced 'epic' feel. The whole 'snuff video making people go insane' was pretty good (just seeing little clips of it made me nervous), but they lost me at the sudden conspiracy theory BS. The special effects, again, were VERY good, making me miss the days when movies didn't leave it all up to computers to make things look cool. I think my favorite scene was when the main character tries to stick his head into his television set...

So hopefully I can come up with some interesting stuff to write for this coming chapter, considering the bizarre things I've seen today. Tack on the fact that I've been feeling exactly as Nyx and Elmiryn have in the story, and the only way I could fail to do a satisfactory update is to put my pants on my head and light it on fire...

...While falling off a building into chopper blades.

...*snicker*

Contemplations.

The next installment is proving to be quite long. 'Aftermath' portions are always a little easier to write. I'm wondering if I should just split the thing into two smaller updates. One for tonight or tomorrow, and one for late Thursday or early Friday? I like to stick to my schedule--it gives a good sense of rhythm--but I also hate to sit on so much when it's practically done.

I guess I'll keep thinking about it...

Here's another little concept sketch of Nyx. She's a thousand times easier to draw than Elmiryn. I CAN do something more ambitious than these, I just haven't find one drawing worth the effort of coloring yet. Cleaning up scans can be annoying. I should really use my tablet more, I think it is collecting dust....

When you stare into the abyss...

Did a new sketch for Elmiryn. She's looking a little short, her face is a bit too broad, and to be honest her boobs aren't as (ahem) generous as I envisioned them, but so far this seems to be the best sketch I've done of her. And this time, I did a bustier instead of a silly corset. I SUCK AT MEDIEVAL FASHION. Sue me.



Went to some haunted corn maze on Friday. This year the production at Scream Works was the best I've seen, even though there were a lot of squeaky voiced kids volunteering. Despite my feigned bravery, I managed to squeal and scream more than once. One of my friends managed to push me into one of the actors. Fortunately the guy knew it wasn't my fault so they didn't put a halt to things to report my ass. I socked my friend in the arm. Numerous times. After that we went to his house and I spent the night. Stayed up til 5 AM watching cheesy Italian horror movies. Zombi 2 (which I DID spell right) and Suspiria. We also saw this really ridiculous film called Hatchet. After that, I think we watched the first episode of True Blood, which makes me wish I had HBO so I could continue watching it.



I'm still on a quest to find a DVD copy of Hardware. I hear it is insane. The story (and I guess the acting) is apparently lacking but the cinematography, ideas, and overall atmosphere have kinda made it a cult favorite. Silent Hill was one of those movies that, despite a stupid story, still managed to actually scare and disturb me. They did a super job on the monsters. I had nightmares after I watched it last Wednesday.

I'm getting into all these creepy things because, well heck, it's October. I've been listening to bands like Slipknot, Disturbed, System of a Down, Bauhas, Horror Pops, Sisters of mercy, Koffin Kats, and Siouxsie and the Banshees like nobody's business. I'm in the mood for scary things and dystopian settings. I've downloaded a ROM of Shadowrun and have been considering running a game of Werewolf the Forsaken with my friends.

So if you see my writing at some point in time take on a dark or sinister tone, then you know why. @_@

Some more artwork and an update.

There are times when I feel I shouldn't try writing at all.

But then I reminded myself that I couldn't expect to get better if I quit, so that's when I posted.

Nyah...

Here's another drawing I did.  Originally it was to be added to the new chapter, but I decided it wasn't good enough--furthermore, it was supposed to accompany a scene but I ended up not writing that part yet:

I might've messed up the shading on Elmiryn...

Well, now I'm off to go watch horror movies of which will no doubt give me nightmares.

I swear, I'm getting there...

I haven't worked much today on the new chapter, but I'm going to try and finish it tonight (if not then tomorrow morning.) I was feeling a little ill and depressed, so about all I managed today was to watch a bunch of stuff on my Netflix list and do some chores around the house here and there. I didn't have dance practice like I thought, so I took the time to do some quick drawings.



Here's one I did of Elmiryn with her hair down.

I did another drawing of her with her armor, but instead of drawing a bustier, I did a corset. Doh. I also couldn't figure out a reasonable way to draw the straps that keep her shoulder guards on. Debating on whether to post the image with the chapter or here. A silly thing to fuss about, maybe, but I want to keep the art featured in chapters to a certain standard.

Fishy Injuries and Dubious Doodles

Just thought I'd showcase my newly gained injury--the cut was barely over a centimeter long, but the blade from the box-cutter I'd been handling cut in deep. I can't remember the last time I bled that much. How did the injury come about? I was selling fish for this roadshow that happens only once a month at the local commissary and was opening a box of snow crab when the box-cutter decided to bite me. It's all ready weird typing. It'll be a pain in the ass typing up the next chapter with this silly band aid. I can't bend my last knuckle.

Before that unfortunate incident, I did a drawing of Elmiryn in a sketchbook I had with me. I lose points for doing it on lined paper, but can't I gain points for doing a decent sketch? Along with this I've managed a few written pages for Chapter 2.4 which is shaping quite nicely, IMO. If all goes well, this coming week may see more than just one update!

Going to see How to Lose Friends & Alienate People today. I hope it isn't a disappointment like Burn After Reading...

'Eikasia' definition and Chapter 2.3 preview

On the main site, some of you may have clicked on the 'What is eikasia' link at the top menu. This led to a poor definition of it in wikipedia, an unreliable source, but it was the only place that seemed to even come close to explaining it in simple terms. There are other sites and books out there that explain in greater detail the entire concept in very long texts that are ripe with academic jargon...but I find that to be irritating bullshit that prevents many from understanding what is otherwise very common in life around us. It was by chance that I found this website that not only breaks down 'eikasia', but the other types of human knowledge that Plato discussed as well. The best part I enjoyed about this article was how it used America's actions after 9/11 to illustrate the definitions. Regardless of the article's purpose, it manages to explain eikasia in a very concise and easy to understand way. That is why I chose to replace it with the wikipedia article.

I offer the definition of eikasia not because I don't think I can explain it well in the story--if I couldn't do that much, then I shouldn't even bother with the idea. I offer the definition because not everyone has taken a philosophy class and not everyone is familiar with Plato. I myself came across some of his ideas just by chance, really, so I'm no scholar. But by giving some the chance to understand the root of some of my thinking, I think they'll be better able to appreciate what I'll do with the story. That's the only reason I'm doing this.

Now if you're curious about the story's next installment, it's about eight pages long but still not finished. I've got a concept sketch of Nyx to add to it--I did one of Elmiryn too, but to put it plainly, it stinks on ice. This isn't much either but here's a quick graphic I did for fun while making new banners to advertise with. Guess who this is? ^_^

Here's a half-page preview of the next installment. Remember, since I'm posting this two days before the actual update, it is subject to change:

“What are your plans in Dame?” I asked Elmiryn as I pulled absently at the straps of my bag.


She glanced at me and smirked. “To ask some questions. Get information about the territory and what is going on here. I heard elsewhere that Meznik's trail led this way. I'm certain he's all ready done something to cause trouble. That's what I'm expecting to learn about.”


“Will it take us closer to him?”


“Hopefully. I'm working against him, so anything of his I can undo is something in my favor, but what I'm really seeking is a way to get to Meznik himself. He's an astral demon and exists on a different level than you or I. That means that taking a sword to him is about as effective as trying to cut shadows.”


I swiped absently at a daisy on the ground. “What sort of things did you do before you met me? What made Meznik curse you?”


“Oh...those are long stories. Complicated too. I get impatient telling them.”


“Can you tell me one thing, at least? If my job is to help you remember who you are and what you stand for, then maybe I should get an idea of the woman you were before Meznik?”



Elmiryn smiled, but the curl of her lip seemed a hair's breath away from a snarl. “I was a fool.” she said, and the conversation ended there.