Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry X-Mas!!

...And a happy new year!

Chapter 5.2 is finally posted--despite writer's block, Christmas preparations, and illness!

Did a major change in post order for the website, so that old posts are now displayed first.  This fixes the problem with the archives, where new posts were listed first, making it difficult to read chapters despite having them all on the same page.  Now you can just go from top to bottom, no prob.  I was trying to find a solution through editing the site template, but I'm not saavy to that sort of thing so I just decided to do this instead.  It means more work for me whenever I post a new installment, but if it helps with site readability, then I think it is worth it.  Readers can skip having to click on the "read the latest chapter link" every time they come to the site by just signing up to the feed, which links directly to the new post.  It'll save you a few seconds, which on the internet, can mean everything for some people.

Happy holidays everyone!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Jes' checking in.

I'm working on a few sidebars for Eikasia that I think some might find interesting. I don't know when I'll post them, but hopefully I'll be done with them soon enough.

I plan on doing some heavy editing for Eikasia. Chapters 1.1 and 1.2 are all ready in their second drafts, but I'm still going to be doing another pass to try and eliminate the crappiness. Chapter 5.1 is probably the one I'm most eager to get to, because I feel the overall quality of it is low and I probably could've described the scenes in a better and more plausible way. But despite my eagerness to re-work it, I'm going to hold off until I can revise the earlier chapters--after all, I need a good base before I can hope to work at the top.

I did a review last week on Chris Tejeda's "Lifting of the Veil", which is a very interesting science fiction web serial that I think you folks should check out.

I've also started doing the next installment for Eikasia. However, if I'm actually productive this week, it may be tossed out in favor of something better.

Recently watched "The Mindscape of Alan Moore"...which really told me a lot about the man, and tore down my earlier belief that he was just an egotistical creep. In fact, a lot of the things I've thought about when writing, or dreaming, or while staring blithely at my ceiling at 2 in the morning, he echoed, in a fascinating and evocative narrative detailing his career and his beliefs on politics, science, sex, and religion. It was eerie. I won't say that everything that came out of his mouth was gold--but I was surprised at how much I did agree with him on things. I recommend it to anyone who has read any of his work, or who appreciates an alternative view on things, or who simply reads comic books. It really is worth a look.

Gonna sign off here...Some part of me wants to vent recent personal frustrations in this entry--they are "personal" but they've affected my work on Eikasia, so I guess it's partly relevant. But I'm not sure what good it will do but make me seem attention-seeking and like any other silly bitch under the esteemed banner of "Generation Y".

Ah well. This really isn't a personal blog anyways. Who the heck reads my non-personal stuff to begin with? (oh whoops, I'm fulfilling the stereotype again, ha ha)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

On Shapechanging...

I decided I'd do a post on shape changing and my views on them. It's an important theme in my story, one that I hope to represent to the best of my ability in the coming chapters. If you're like me, and have a thing for therianthropes (humans who shift into animals, i.e. werewolves or cat people) then you've likely got your own passionate ideas about how the shape changing process occurs (or "should" occur.)

If you're new to therianthropy, or just fantasy in general, then you will not have a clue what the heck I'm talking about. "They change from man to beast. What's the difference?" you might say.

But it makes all the difference in the world, my poor unenlightened friend!

I've had hours of discussions with friends on such delicate matters, and the debate still seems to rage. It concerns matters of spirituality, basic science, and of course, culture. Just about every major society has their own myths on shape changers. The stories told reflected societal concerns, superstitions, and environment.

Much of the stories of werewolves in Europe and Colonial America seem to share the same theme--rape. Violation. The forceful commandeering of flesh and spirit by dark forces. Lycanthropy (or therianthropy) was just about always connected to Satan or infernal beings. As such, transformations were usually seen as horrific--likely painful. What many people fail to realize is that the themes of "rape and violation" do not just apply to the also applies to the afflicted/cursed individual.

With vampires, their major theme is all about seduction. Leeching away what they want by attractiveness and hypnotization. Bottom line: self-gratification. That is part of the reason you see so many "aristocratic" vampires or "young, ambitious" vampires, because they fit the stereotypes of selfish and indulgent assholes. With werewolves, it's the opposite. In popular culture, they are shown as people who were turned into monsters against their will, and who find their bodies at the mercy of some terrible change once a month. Very often times they were the poor, the common peasants, the loners, the sick or the insane.

Still, in other countries and other beliefs, therianthropy was looked on less as violent and traumatic, and more as deceitful and mischievous. The Japanese kitsune, for instance, was a creature that could shift at will between human and fox forms. They caused chaos through wit and craft, rather than pure violence...sometimes, however, they were seen as benevolent and wise beings that aided some unfortunate or disadvantaged soul. Continuing on that note, shapeshifting or spiritual transformation was seen as desirable ways to power and wisdom for some people, such as some Native American tribes. With the vikings, berserkers were feared and admired for their strength and bravery. It was said that they tried to draw power from the wolf and bear skins they wore, and emulated these animals ferocity and skill in combat.

Stepping away from simple 'man-to-beast' transformation, shape changing has had a strong presence in many religions and myths. In these cases, the physical changes underwent by the individuals were more symbolic of the mental change a person underwent, or the sin they bore, or their true underlying desire. In Graeco-Roman culture this is especially true. In Greek mythology, we can find great examples: Circe transformed Odysseus' men to pigs in Homer's The Odyssey; and Medusa was changed into a monster after having intercourse with Posiedon in Athena's temple. Zeus frequently took different forms to approach women, and to conceal his affairs from his wife, Hera.

In film (and I'm speaking from an American standpoint) werewolf transformations have been depicted in a variety of ways. From fast and fluid, to slow and grotesque. Some look more human, others more like real wolves. Since there aren't too many werewolf examples in literature that I can take seriously, I turn mostly to film for inspiration on what a shapechange would entail.

The best example of a rapid change can be seen in the movie, "Underworld"...which I thought was just a load of gothic wank. The 'wolves' looked more like weird, naked bears:

I will say, right now, that I am NOT part of the "it would be quick and painless" camp. Shape changing, in my opinion, would be a painful experience, and would likely take a while (several minutes at least. That can be forever for a person undergoing something so terrible.)

Here is Bad Moon's take on shape changing. Again, not so keen on the "fast and painless" take on shapeshifting. In my opinion, it takes away a lot of the metaphorical power about transforming body and mind, and leaves a superficial understanding of what the shapechanger inherently thinks and feels.

First example I found that wasn't related to werewolves. Instead, this shows the transformation of a man to a panther. I'm really just showing this because the form Nyx took in Chapter 1.1 looks similar to this (only a bit scruffier and with more human nuance).

From the movie "Cat People". Again, just because it's a cat transformation. The first few seconds of this clip made me think of when Nyx's face "went cat" in Chapter 4. The last few seconds though...I mean, it's interesting. It shows that the human skin is not the "true" skin, but just a cover for the beast inside. This isn't the case with Nyx or the other therians in her world, though.

Here is a nice YouTube video that takes both "The Howling" and "American Werewolf In London's" take on shape changing. I appreciate AWIL's much more than The Howling's 'bubbling' and 'popping' change. BUT...I still think that an actual transformation would be less confused and halting. I personally feel it would be a symmetrical process. You see how the main character shifts only one hand, then his face? Because I'm a spiritual git, I'd think it'd start from the torso, then spread out--because that is where the heart and gut are. In magic and in mythology, those two things are said to be where the soul or 'Self' is...or at least, great focal points for spiritual energy. The heart especially. So why wouldn't the change occur where these things are first?

Furthermore--AWIL's werewolf appears...not very wolfish, when finally revealed later on. The Howling does a better job of having a "wolfish" result, but again, AWIL earns points for showing the transformation as a painful, debilitating experience. I think about AWIL when writing Nyx's transformations. But the issue with turning to film for inspiration is that, in their attempts to make the monster "scary" or "cool", many film creators fail to get the overall point of lycanthropy myths (and by that vein, ailuranthropy too.)

And what do I think it "means" then? Why all my blustering? For me, shape changing is a greater metaphor for the strength that lies within all of us--a power and passion that could easily become something terrifying if allowed. I take both the good and bad of the shape changing myths because that is how life is. Too much sugar will give you cavaties, too much drinking will make you an addict, too much reading will make you an insufferable recluse. I think there is as much a balance with therianthropy as there would be anything else in our world. That is why, despite my insistence on getting the 'bodily pain' of transformation right, there are those in Nyx's world that do NOT suffer, and who may even enjoy the experience.

Okay, so I'll end with this...random anime clip I found. I think it's from the series, "Slayers."

The point of this post was really just to illustrate my idea of "proper" shape changing. For Nyx, her pain is symbolic of her ostracization and shame with her people. For other therians, there is still a "physical" change that takes time, but it lacks the pain--possibly even contains some sense of euphoric release. If I got too much in detail about how this relates to my story, I might ruin things for later on. I also don't want to give the impression that I don't trust my writing enough to speak for itself. This was simply a 'sidebar' talking about my thoughts on the ramifications of shapeshifting. I might do a follow-up post later, if I feel anything more needs to be said...

Bingo, bangle, bungle, I'm so happy in the jungle, I refuse to go...

Okay, the title has nothing to do with this post, really. I just have that song from Fallout 3 stuck in my head.

Anyways, the story has been updated. These last two weeks were weird due to holidays, birthdays, inescapable events, illness, and general female wackiness. I keep reminding myself that I'm doing this for free, but I want everyone to know that I really do try to keep up with my schedule. I'm starting to think I'm going to have to make a routine of it, versus just writing whenever it strikes me.

I started a new digital drawing (separate from the last one I mentioned...I did mention it right?) It's a lot more cartoony than some of my other works, but I mean to clean up the lines on this and color it in full.

Some proportions are off. Like Elmiryn's right arm, but I'll fix that.

And tomorrow's my birthday. I turn 20. Yes, I'm an old, old hag.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

This is a TOTALLY original and clever post title.

Oh wow...this week was kinda hard for me. Not because anything in particular happened. Just...well, put simply, these have been the worst mood swings I've ever suffered in all my years of being a girl. I haven't felt like doing anything, I've been sick, and tired...and sore. And tired, and sick, and--it's like a vicious cycle. Yesterday I was quite literally sitting at the bottom of my shower, staring off into space and wishing I could just put life on pause, then later that day I was high as a kite and happy as hell for no real reason at all. I've tried taking vitamins, drinking coffee, eating chocolate, and watching funny stuff, but it was all moot. This morning I woke up and felt like someone died. I guess I had a bad dream. Feeling better now though, so I guess I'm in one of those highs.

And to think, I've only got menopause to worry about when I get older.

Anyways, enough blathering. Here's the chapter preview to prove that I've actually been doing something:

She told herself to scream, because she figured it would make her feel better. But where would that sound go, in this terrible place? What would that sound mean here? It hardly meant a thing to her, after all... She was dead. A ghost...right? So what did it mean when the sound of anguish curled out of her mouth like a desperate hand?

...Aw, who cares...

Elmiryn pushed herself upright, and her limbs shook with the effort. She came to an angle her spine disagreed with and fell back again, pain incising itself into her nerves. That dubious noise came to her lips once more, but rather than take flight, it clung there, shuddering, before it was lost in a sudden bark of laughter.

She had always wondered if Halvard, moral god, would see fit to cast her in some dank hell. Well...she got her answer. How could she have survived such a crash of water? It cast her into dark--shattered her completely beyond recognition, like glass, like a mirror...

Remember kiddies, it is subject to change, but you should all ready know that by now...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Out of the box, and over the top.

Hello folks. Did an early update this week. I felt that the writing I had done was enough to stand on its own, and would make the next installment longer if I didn't separate it. I still plan on doing an update this Friday, but its Thanksgiving week here in the US, and I don't know how much time I'll have to do writing. I'll figure something out, though.

Good news! I figured out how to get rid of those stupid green borders on Chapter 4.2. So now the chapter reads as I originally intended it. Turns out the issue wasn't with the coding in the post, but the actual site template I was using. I guess the CSS was overriding everything else. I'm not too familiar with CSS but it was simple enough to figure out how to change the one part I needed to.

Today I was watching yet another Italian directed horror movie. "Cannibal Apocalypse."

What was going on with Italian directors and music? So far each of the ones I've seen use it in weird ways. I guess maybe I'm just not used to seeing music used in such a forthcoming manner, where its as much a part of the scene as the acting is. Nowadays it seems the only time music plays a huge role in a movie is if its a musical or has a montage. But the problem is that the music used in these films don't always pose a good presence in the scene its used with. In Cannibal Apocalypse for instance, Antonio Margheriti saw fit to have the opening sequence--a violent scene from the Vietnam war--accompanied by groovy funk. What the heck!?

The same happened in Dario Argento's "Opera". After a terrifying encounter with a crazed murderer, the lead woman decides to go running out into the streets (for whatever reason--god forbid we actually have the sense to call the cops and report a murder) and this death metal music comes on...while she's just walking down the street. The music is used for nothing else but THAT. ONE. PART. It was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen. I mean...I get why Dario Argento is considered so influential in horror, but I personally don't think its because of his scripts or even the cinematography of his films. It's just that he's RIDICULOUS. Experimental. Wasn't afraid of campiness or over-the-top, not-quite-plausible gore. I don't know if the 80's was the height of Italian horror, but I'd really like to know if there are any Italian directors out there still doing what they want, reality and common sense be damned.

...And I still have to watch David Cronenberg's remake of "The Fly". It's just been sitting on my desk since I've got it on Netflix.

Friday, November 21, 2008

....Oh DAMN it!

Stupid formatting. Why do all images need borders?

ANYWAYS...the new chapter is up, but I was hoping to have it come out looking nicer. If people dislike it, I'll edit the chapter and just type it up like normal. If not I'll keep it...but will keep poking around for a way to get rid of those silly borders. (grumble)

And for those interested, you can now get e-mail updates via FeedBurner. Just go to my blog and look at the sidebar.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


"I want YOU! to talk to talk to me about webfiction"

Hey there folks.  Just thought I'd help another author out and link to his post, which is on the rather interesting subject of the growing writing community online.  He's the writer of "Children of the First" which is a really great fantasy webnovel.  Drop him a line and be sure to check back when he posts his finished article!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

...this is what you get

Did this today.  Started another digital drawing as well, with both Nyx and Elmiryn.  Hopefully I can manage something full scale like this.

Well today was...uncomfortable. It started at 2 AM when I woke up and found my tonsils were so swollen I could feel my breath whistling past them. They were so damn big, I kept swallowing reflexively, and every time it hurt worse than if a cheetah were to use them for speed bag practice. Somehow I got to sleep and woke up the same way later. Couldn't eat any more than yogurt for breakfast. Thankfully the swelling went down after I took some antibiotics and drank lots of water, but its evening and it is still difficult to talk.

It was REALLY odd then, feeling this way, and watching Apocalypse Now: Redux. I also managed to see Hardware (finally!) and I really enjoyed it. The last movie I saw on my list of surrealistic, dark films was Videodrome. I drove 40 minutes to get these (including Blackula, and Eddie Murphy's elusive 'Delirious' special). Hollywood Video and Blockbuster both bite sagging nuts because they don't carry a wide enough selection of movies. Netflix--though they offer more--still didn't seem to have either Apocalypse Now or Hardware for some reason. I enjoy these wacked out, stylistic forays into the human imagination. The bonus was that it's given me a few ideas for Chapter 4.2...which will be interesting.

Prepare for heavy linkage!

Apocalypse Now: Redux
, originally premiered in 2001, was just an extended version of the original film, which came out in 1979. Though I've never seen the original, I really enjoyed this version a lot. There were a lot of powerful images, and I felt the acting was pretty spot on. The only part about it I'd have to say I didn't like was the plantation scene, which dragged on and on--I literally fast-forwarded through it. Aside from that, it was all just great. Marlin Brando does an amazing job as the disturbed Kurt, and seeing the final scene with him and Martin Sheen was pretty excellent. I'm not a history buff, but the Vietnam War has always fascinated me. Seeing this movie made me want to watch Full Metal Jacket again...then maybe Rescue Dawn. (and just because the last film would have Bale in it, I'd probably run to find American Psycho...which is such a deliciously demented movie)

After that I watched Hardware, which I mentioned on the blog a little while ago. It seemed to parade around its soundtrack a little bit here and there, but for the most part I understand that it was a film mired in alternative culture, and I think the music really lended to the post-apocalyptic setting. I somehow missed ever hearing about Iggy Pop doing a voice cameo, so it was a surprise to see his name come up in the credits. Given the film's budget, Richard Stanley and Steven Chivers did an EXCELLENT job with direction and cinematography. You can see the financial restraints whenever the killer robot, M.A.R.K. 13 is onscreen, but the sonuvabitch is actually pretty creepy in my opinion. The use of color and lighting sucked me in pretty well, so this easily joins my list of cult favorites (right next to Repo Man and The Warriors.)

The last movie I watched today was Videodrome, from good ol' David Cronenberg. It's your basic "body horror"--a kind of niche genre of story and film that deals with severe abnormalities with the body (mutation, parasitism, general gore.) I was glad to see it wasn't as contrived as Scanners, another one of Cronenberg's films, but the man does seem to have a penchant for stories with opposing forces...not so much one character versus another, but one faction versus another. Like in politics, religion...or comic books. Even in his recent film, Eastern Promises, that still seemed quite apparent...but I can't really hate the guy for it. It's pretty common in stories.

Anyways...the film I felt was pretty disturbing in places (which not many horror movies manage to achieve) but around the end it started to lose the creepy feel and gained more of a forced 'epic' feel. The whole 'snuff video making people go insane' was pretty good (just seeing little clips of it made me nervous), but they lost me at the sudden conspiracy theory BS. The special effects, again, were VERY good, making me miss the days when movies didn't leave it all up to computers to make things look cool. I think my favorite scene was when the main character tries to stick his head into his television set...

So hopefully I can come up with some interesting stuff to write for this coming chapter, considering the bizarre things I've seen today. Tack on the fact that I've been feeling exactly as Nyx and Elmiryn have in the story, and the only way I could fail to do a satisfactory update is to put my pants on my head and light it on fire...

...While falling off a building into chopper blades.


Thursday, November 13, 2008

Chasing Ash

Cold and oppressive.

Pushing against her.

Her eyes shifted to the side to gaze briefly at her petite companion, whose mess of dark locks shielded her expression from view, no thanks to the wind. It chased ash around their ankles and the scent of carrion to their noses.


Beneath their feet, the grass crunched and crumbled to dust. ...So maybe it wasn't ash. The blades were chalk white versus the fading yellow of your typical dead grass. The alder trees that sprinkled the fields were much the same, brittle clumps of leaves on their gray branches. How could anything be reduced to such a dismal state? There was literally a line where all this began, separating the green life that spilled from the sides of the Torreth Mountains from the death that affected the lands of Gamath.

Half a mile away, the city could be seen in the distance.

Elmiryn's eyes again shifted to look at Nyx. It were as if she were afraid the youth would drift away like a stray boat, out into a cold ocean that would surely swallow her whole. She felt like grabbing the girl's hand and never letting go. And why the neediness? Why the fear?

The warrior thought of the moment back at the foot of the mountains and her body tensed.

...The girl's face to the ground, her chest not moving...

She had looked like the dead deer.

A short preview. Basically the start of the next chapter. It's subject to change, but I'd just thought I'd prove I've actually got something...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

"According to my calculations..."

I started a bit behind on the whole NaNoWriMo thing, but I think I can catch up. I've done the math, and if I do 3000 words a day from now until the 30th, I should meet my goal. And that's not even counting in the fact that I'll likely write a little more on some days, just for the heck of it.

The story I'm doing is called "Lost Keys", and right now it's shite, but with any luck I'll have it polished and smellin' like a rose next month.

Today will prove a busy one as I juggle school, work, and a social life. I might be able to work on Eikasia a little more tonight, and hopefully, will have a nice little preview to offer you folks afterwards.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Well...I didn't die!!


I set a goal for 3000 words under 2 hours. I met it! Granted, maybe something more restrictive would have been more impressive. At any rate, my NaNo has progressed! Huzzah!

And don't worry, I've been working on Chapter 4.1 for Eikasia gradually. It's currently at 912 words.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Err Boldly.

It's the only way to do it.

SOOO...I posted up Chap 3.4 despite general misgivings and the fact that I was half-out-of-my-fucking-skull when proofreading it. I decided if I could go back and edit previous chapters, I can do the same for this one. Graciously point something out to me, and I'll work with it folks. That's what the comment feature is for. ^_^

Sleep deprivation allowed me enough confidence to put a stake in the worries once and for all:


Friday, November 7, 2008

Word games.

Another chapter preview! More Nyx Nerdiness... (remember, this is subject to change, blah blah blah...)

Elmiryn thought, tapping the handle of the skinning knife on her chin. "Let's play a game."

I gave her a deadpan look. "While you're carving an animal corpse?"

"You tell me about yourself. Using single words."


"Five syllable words," Elmiryn added with a grin. Her angular face seemed a little flushed and for a brief moment I wondered if she were drunk again.

"Elmiryn I can't--"

"Of course you can. I bet you can come up with a word for how you're feeling right now."

"Yeah. Exasperation!"


"I really don't think it'll work."

Elmiryn looked at me. Then shrugged. "Okay. If you say so." That was when she filleted the deer from the gut to the chin.

The beast in me snarled at the sight of red life spilling onto the dirt, the tumble of dark purplish organs, the gleam of the exposed rib cage. The smell that hit me literally made me reel. I spun back around, horrified. "Disquietude! Feelings of anxiety that cause one to become tense!!" Even I could note the lower pitch of my voice, the growl that tinged my words.

"That's four syllables." Elmiryn said calmly. I couldn't see her expression, but I could imagine her smiling. Why did she find these things funny?

"Fine! Pestiferousness; something akin to evil or general annoyance."

If you guys have checked my twitter updates on the main site, you'll know that the next update won't be up till sometime Sunday. I apologize for this and really DO dislike going against my schedule, but sometimes that happens in life, and after this rather eventful week I really have no reason to stop and regret it at all.

I was feeling pretty unmotivated with the next installment before I was hit with a random idea. It literally saved the sinking ship! It also helped to remember that I was writing Eikasia for myself as much as for others (though I truly do appreciate my readers)--It was just getting to the point that I was fretting so much about what people would make of my story that I couldn't even write it. But now I think I've gotten over that (for now, ha!) and the writer's block has magically vanished. I'd stay up to work on this more, but I have work tomorrow so I'm afraid I'll have to put it off till later.

Till Sunday then!

Because it's awesome-sauce.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

New possibilities, same obstacles.

Being an American citizen feels good now.  In fact it feels amazing.  My international readers will have to forgive me--sometimes I forget that anyone outside of my bubble of a universe bothers with anything I do.  I've been feeling incredibly motivated lately--but not really for writing.  The effort of creativity comes easier in spurts.  I should probably ease off with the roleplaying on forums.  It doesn't help that I signed up for NaNoWriMo too (hoo boy.)  So as of this moment?  There isn't much of the new chapter.  I'm thinking lots of coffee and loud music for tonight.

The odd thing is that I actually DO wish to write.  I KNOW what I want to write.  But I just...can't.  When I get going I either get tired, distracted, or find myself stunted by the need to fact check.  I love writing I do.  I just hate having to fact check.

I will write this next part, damn it.  I can't promise it'll be by tomorrow morning, though.  I'm hesitant to say I'll even have something by tomorrow.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Ghoulish Guilt.

I'm such a cheesy bastard.

New chapter is up.  Posting early due to guilt.  I feel like I keep bringing up the possibility of more than one update a week, but never deliver.  I don't like teasing, so I posted up what I had.  Put simply, that's about as good as it gets unless someone tells me different.

Some of you curious birdies, I'm sure, have seen that a few folks have been kind enough to leave me some good critiques on the site.  I took those suggestions and used them to help make the previous chapters better.  If anybody likes Eikasia, but feels the need to bring something up, I'll definitely hear you out.  This work is just one big exercise in writing.  I don't look at it as a "once posted it's a done deal" kind of thing.  I'll go back and edit as I see fit.

I'm also posting early as tomorrow I'll be gone all day for a trip with my friends.

♫♫ Happy Halloween!  ♫♫

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


The next installment is proving to be quite long. 'Aftermath' portions are always a little easier to write. I'm wondering if I should just split the thing into two smaller updates. One for tonight or tomorrow, and one for late Thursday or early Friday? I like to stick to my schedule--it gives a good sense of rhythm--but I also hate to sit on so much when it's practically done.

I guess I'll keep thinking about it...

Here's another little concept sketch of Nyx. She's a thousand times easier to draw than Elmiryn. I CAN do something more ambitious than these, I just haven't find one drawing worth the effort of coloring yet. Cleaning up scans can be annoying. I should really use my tablet more, I think it is collecting dust....

Friday, October 24, 2008

Stupid Sassafrackin...@#!?&

Chapter 3.2 is up.    

Tried adding "back" links on each chapter page.  Blogger's editor is driving me insane.  If it looks a little wacky, I blame this flaming site, but at least the damn things work. 

...Why am I awake at 6 in the morning?


Thursday, October 23, 2008

"It seemed that way..."

"What seemed to be the truth to me, was just a lie to you.

I can't concieve the way you think, the way you are, and more."

I finished writing the next installment. It was a little weird for me.  I'd try and explain why but that would ruin things in more ways than one.

I'll edit it later. Here's a preview for you guys.  Remember, this may be subject to change:

The next few moments Elmiryn found hard to tell anyone in any certain terms. Fighting, at its most heatest, was always a visceral activity. The pull and shock of limbs, the guttural cries, the smell of sweat and dirt mingled...In truth, much of the details of the fight had to be procured from Nyx later, who recounted it with ashen expression and a voice so meek that it felt entirely appropriate to call her a kitten. When asked why it was she could not recall the exact details of the event, Elmiryn explained in irenic tones that the images of the battle had all ready faded and the only thing left was an aftertaste of emotions and sensations that tingled her body.

She could recall, for instance, the instantaneous pull of her stomach at the sound of Nyx's inhuman screech. She remembered the risk she took, turning her back on the two armed boys behind her and flinging the steel bolt at the father like it were a throwing knife. 
Pain--which shot down her arm from the deep cut she had recieved. She remembered the crunch of dirt tickling her ears as one of the brothers behind her started forward, a growl rumbling in his throat. When she saw Nyx escape, Elmiryn felt a brief moment of relief warming her otherwise cold skin before she reminded herself that her companion was still in danger. The warrior then, adrenaline pumping hot through her veins and a vicious grin spreading across her long lips, drew her knife, ducked low, then launched herself backward into the charging boy, stabbing back with both hands.

And I found this picture on Deviantart.  I sort of freaked out, because the person looks so much like how I imagined Nyx IRL.  Hair color is brown, and their nose is a bit different, but for the most part...oh yeah.  It's Nyx.

Going to go play more Shadowrun.  And then maybe read more ToMU (so sad that I was distracted most of the time by someone ELSE'S web serial.)  Then I'll clean my house.  Watch another bad horror movie....blah blah blah

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Link to Me!


It's nice helping other people out!

Save it to your computers please.  Sorry I didn't add dimensions.

If you feel like it, I'd love donated banners or buttons.

I'll do a link/banner exchange with you, but you need to tell me so I can add you.

REMEMBER:  Link to   not this site!

Thanks much!!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

When you stare into the abyss...

Mayday (feat. The Duke Spirit) - UNKLE

Did a new sketch for Elmiryn. She's looking a little short, her face is a bit too broad, and to be honest her boobs aren't as (ahem) generous as I envisioned them, but so far this seems to be the best sketch I've done of her. And this time, I did a bustier instead of a silly corset. I SUCK AT MEDIEVAL FASHION. Sue me.

Went to some haunted corn maze on Friday. This year the production at Scream Works was the best I've seen, even though there were a lot of squeaky voiced kids volunteering. Despite my feigned bravery, I managed to squeal and scream more than once. One of my friends managed to push me into one of the actors. Fortunately the guy knew it wasn't my fault so they didn't put a halt to things to report my ass. I socked my friend in the arm. Numerous times. After that we went to his house and I spent the night. Stayed up til 5 AM watching cheesy Italian horror movies. Zombi 2 (which I DID spell right) and Suspiria. We also saw this really ridiculous film called Hatchet. After that, I think we watched the first episode of True Blood, which makes me wish I had HBO so I could continue watching it.

I'm still on a quest to find a DVD copy of Hardware. I hear it is insane. The story (and I guess the acting) is apparently lacking but the cinematography, ideas, and overall atmosphere have kinda made it a cult favorite. Silent Hill was one of those movies that, despite a stupid story, still managed to actually scare and disturb me. They did a super job on the monsters. I had nightmares after I watched it last Wednesday.

I'm getting into all these creepy things because, well heck, it's October. I've been listening to bands like Slipknot, Disturbed, System of a Down, Bauhas, Horror Pops, Sisters of mercy, Koffin Kats, and Siouxsie and the Banshees like nobody's business. I'm in the mood for scary things and dystopian settings. I've downloaded a ROM of Shadowrun and have been considering running a game of Werewolf the Forsaken with my friends.

So if you see my writing at some point in time take on a dark or sinister tone, then you know why. @_@

Friday, October 17, 2008

Some more artwork and an update.

There are times when I feel I shouldn't try writing at all.

But then I reminded myself that I couldn't expect to get better if I quit, so that's when I posted.


Here's another drawing I did.  Originally it was to be added to the new chapter, but I decided it wasn't good enough--furthermore, it was supposed to accompany a scene but I ended up not writing that part yet:

I might've messed up the shading on Elmiryn...

Well, now I'm off to go watch horror movies of which will no doubt give me nightmares.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I swear, I'm getting there...

I haven't worked much today on the new chapter, but I'm going to try and finish it tonight (if not then tomorrow morning.) I was feeling a little ill and depressed, so about all I managed today was to watch a bunch of stuff on my Netflix list and do some chores around the house here and there. I didn't have dance practice like I thought, so I took the time to do some quick drawings.

Here's one I did of Elmiryn with her hair down.

I did another drawing of her with her armor, but instead of drawing a bustier, I did a corset. Doh. I also couldn't figure out a reasonable way to draw the straps that keep her shoulder guards on. Debating on whether to post the image with the chapter or here. A silly thing to fuss about, maybe, but I want to keep the art featured in chapters to a certain standard.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The things that keep me up at night...

I did indeed start writing the next installment. Here's a quick preview of it. Remember, it may be liable to some changes later:

"Nyx." She shook the girl's shoulder lightly. "Nyx. Wake up."

A groan. Nyx shifted so that her face turned into the pillow, away from Elmiryn. "Mmmrph."

Elmiryn rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "How is it that I'm awake before you are?"

"You're right." Nyx mumbled, turning her head enough to offer a sleepy glare. "You should correct this grievous mistake and get back into bed. You ought to be hung over worse than a opossum."

"What does a opossum have to do with it?"

"Go back to sleep and I'll tell you."

"You can't tell me if I go back to sleep."

"That's the idea."

Elmiryn's shoulders shook with laughter as she tried to keep quiet. The battling suns had barely colored the sky with their blood. The streets were still delicate in quiet. There was not a person stirring in the inn. Elmiryn shook Nyx's shoulder again. "Hey, c'mon. Get up. Seriously. I'm not beyond dragging you out of here."

Nyx whined and hid her head under the blanket. "You always come with the same threat."

"I didn't know I was being judged on creativity."

I might've even finished the chapter last night if I hadn't gotten distracted doing this video:

I've become some sort of Xena Warrior Princess geek. When the hell did THAT happen?

Oh, and just to let you all know, I also did some editing to recent chapters. Again, like the first chapter, I was just trying to make it more streamlined. Less "telling" more "showing"...yadda, yadda, yadda. Before anyone points it out, I'd just like to say that I realize there's been a mistake in the recent chapter. I think I mentioned Nyx and Elmiryn's room only having one bed, but when they finally go there I suddenly say there are two. I'll be correcting this, don't worry.

Monday, October 13, 2008

First chapter edits and Inspiring tunes

Did some edits to the first chapter (hey--it IS the most important chapter) and I think I managed to clear up a lot of the muck. It probably still isn't perfect, but IMO it is more streamlined. I haven't started on the new chapter yet, but as always it is bounding about in my head quite eagerly!

Continued work for the project with my friend. Might post some previews of some of the work I did.

Bought a "Best Of" Siouxsie and the Banshees CD. I usually detest those sorts of things, but this band has become a rare delicacy in my area so I said, "What the hell." This song 'Peek-A-Boo' is curious but catchy. I'll be playing this over and over whilst writing the next chapter:

Peek-A-Boo - Siouxsie And The Banshees

Along with Puddle of Mudd's 'Psycho'. I don't normally listen to them, they are a little too common for me, but this one track was really infectious too. Something about it always makes me think of Elmiryn.

Psycho - Puddle Of Mudd

Friday, October 10, 2008

New chapter and some changes...

Posted the new installment a little early. I didn't feel like staying up till midnight, and at the same time didn't feel like posting it later in the morning on update day. I'm impatient!

Added a link to the first chapter at the top of the page, as well as made it so that only one post can be seen at a time. Hopefully that will make it easier for first time readers.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Swimming With Information

Started working on the new chapter. Sometimes I wish I had someone to critique my work and tell me if my characterizations and narrative choices make any flaming sense. Ah well...who isn't insecure about their work? It seems I'll have a disclaimer filled with excuses for just about every update I ever do, so I guess I'm doomed.

Here's a quick preview of the upcoming installment. Might be different when posted:

When she came outside of the inn, the air was cool and the sky had shifted to a glorious velvet. The merchants were long since packed and gone, only a small crowd of folk wandering here to there taking care of things before they were expected to retreat for the night. The warrior spotted Nyx across from the way, sitting on a basket with her head bowed down and something in her hands. She cantered towards her.

“Hullo there, my kitten in cutie's clothing. What is that you've got there?” Elmiryn chirped. She bent over and tilted her head to one side, her body swaying. “Is it because of what you are that you can read out here with so little light?” the woman asked.

Nyx sighed and stopped reading, her tawny eyes rolling up to glower at her companion.

Elmiryn pouted. “You're still mad at me.” she grumbled asininely.

“That's very astute of you, considering you're head's drowned in ale.” Nyx looked back at her book. “Step back, please. I've got a sensitive nose and you're making my eyes water.”

Elmiryn knelt down with a flop before the girl and blew wisps of hair away from her forehead. “My head isn't swimming just with ale, you know,” she said matter-of-factly. “It's also swimming with information.”

“Lovely. I can just imagine what that would look like.”

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Possible Project and the End to the Busiest Damn Weekend Since Highschool Graduation

How's that for a title?

No, no ladies n' germs, I haven't forgotten the story. I just haven't had a proper chance to work on it. The written pages still aren't typed up, but more ideas keep popping into my head--unrealized sentences, touching images, and humurous jokes galore. If not tonight, then tomorrow I'll try and work on the next installment.

Working up plans for a possible project, yes in relation to my story, that will hopefully serve as a treat for you all as much as it would for me. I'm not going to say much more than that in case this falls through. The friend I'm working with is a very talented guy, and I think you folks should check out some of his other work: I'm totally psyched! ^_^

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Fishy Injuries and Dubious Doodles

Just thought I'd showcase my newly gained injury--the cut was barely over a centimeter long, but the blade from the box-cutter I'd been handling cut in deep. I can't remember the last time I bled that much. How did the injury come about? I was selling fish for this roadshow that happens only once a month at the local commissary and was opening a box of snow crab when the box-cutter decided to bite me. It's all ready weird typing. It'll be a pain in the ass typing up the next chapter with this silly band aid. I can't bend my last knuckle.

Before that unfortunate incident, I did a drawing of Elmiryn in a sketchbook I had with me. I lose points for doing it on lined paper, but can't I gain points for doing a decent sketch? Along with this I've managed a few written pages for Chapter 2.4 which is shaping quite nicely, IMO. If all goes well, this coming week may see more than just one update!

Going to see How to Lose Friends & Alienate People today. I hope it isn't a disappointment like Burn After Reading...

Friday, October 3, 2008

New installment posted.

I'll slap general disclaimers on this one: I'm hungry, I'm PMSing, I've been busy, my muse is threatening to divorce me, I've got small breasts...blah blah blah. The end of the post I especially want to slap all over with disclaimers as I was half asleep when writing it. I'm half asleep now as a matter of fact.

The sketch of Nyx is just a concept thing, so if you want to imagine her as an old crone with one eye, be my guest. The drawing was really just a sad attempt on my part to get in touch with the character and maybe give my site a little more aesthetic...stuff.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

'Eikasia' definition and Chapter 2.3 preview

On the main site, some of you may have clicked on the 'What is eikasia' link at the top menu. This led to a poor definition of it in wikipedia, an unreliable source, but it was the only place that seemed to even come close to explaining it in simple terms. There are other sites and books out there that explain in greater detail the entire concept in very long texts that are ripe with academic jargon...but I find that to be irritating bullshit that prevents many from understanding what is otherwise very common in life around us. It was by chance that I found this website that not only breaks down 'eikasia', but the other types of human knowledge that Plato discussed as well. The best part I enjoyed about this article was how it used America's actions after 9/11 to illustrate the definitions. Regardless of the article's purpose, it manages to explain eikasia in a very concise and easy to understand way. That is why I chose to replace it with the wikipedia article.

I offer the definition of eikasia not because I don't think I can explain it well in the story--if I couldn't do that much, then I shouldn't even bother with the idea. I offer the definition because not everyone has taken a philosophy class and not everyone is familiar with Plato. I myself came across some of his ideas just by chance, really, so I'm no scholar. But by giving some the chance to understand the root of some of my thinking, I think they'll be better able to appreciate what I'll do with the story. That's the only reason I'm doing this.

Now if you're curious about the story's next installment, it's about eight pages long but still not finished. I've got a concept sketch of Nyx to add to it--I did one of Elmiryn too, but to put it plainly, it stinks on ice. This isn't much either but here's a quick graphic I did for fun while making new banners to advertise with. Guess who this is? ^_^

Here's a half-page preview of the next installment. Remember, since I'm posting this two days before the actual update, it is subject to change:

“What are your plans in Dame?” I asked Elmiryn as I pulled absently at the straps of my bag.

She glanced at me and smirked. “To ask some questions. Get information about the territory and what is going on here. I heard elsewhere that Meznik's trail led this way. I'm certain he's all ready done something to cause trouble. That's what I'm expecting to learn about.”

“Will it take us closer to him?”

“Hopefully. I'm working against him, so anything of his I can undo is something in my favor, but what I'm really seeking is a way to get to Meznik himself. He's an astral demon and exists on a different level than you or I. That means that taking a sword to him is about as effective as trying to cut shadows.”

I swiped absently at a daisy on the ground. “What sort of things did you do before you met me? What made Meznik curse you?”

“Oh...those are long stories. Complicated too. I get impatient telling them.”

“Can you tell me one thing, at least? If my job is to help you remember who you are and what you stand for, then maybe I should get an idea of the woman you were before Meznik?”

Elmiryn smiled, but the curl of her lip seemed a hair's breath away from a snarl. “I was a fool.” she said, and the conversation ended there.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

New blog for story updates and what have you...

Hello all! I decided I'd start this little blog as a way to post any notes or concerns I have about Eikasia. Update schedule isn't really set as I only mean to post here when I have something to say--like right now for instance.

The next installment for the story is bouncing around in my head and I'm toying with different approaches for it. If later this week I manage something, I'll be posting a teaser paragraph or two before Friday. With any luck, Friday's post may be accompanied by some artwork I drew--nothing extravagant. More like concept sketches or scene ideas that I attempted to recreate visually.